Abcess Trauma

Well I've had a 6mm lump in my neck for years with no issues at all that the doctors have kept an eye on it.

After a hard Tuesday training ride a few weeks it got very sore and grew to 5cm and I was put on a weeks antibiotics. After the week it had shrunk to 3cm so I was put on another weeks antibiotics.

Over Easter I did a few hard rides and the lump grew and became more painful than ever. I'd also noticed my heartrate was 20 to 30 bpm higher than normal.

Another trip to the docs resulted in a change to powerful antibiotics. Returning to the doc 3 days later and the lump was 8.5cm so the decision was made by the doc to cut open the abcess to drain it with the warning it would hurt - he wasn't lying.

It's now a week later and it's getting better but there is still puss coming out of it so I'm still banned off the bike until that clears up. I'm having the dressing changed on a daily basis which involves having it cleaned out and packing inserted with a wire probe.

I can't wait to get back out on the bike.

Useful phrases for cycling from Paris to Blackpool

Below is a list of phrases I was sent by Bobby and the Sergeant that may be useful for anyone cycling from Paris to Blackpool. Please note the translations may not be accurate.

Useful French Phrases

Greetings:

Hello, my name is Andrew, I am a cyclist.

Bon jewer, gem apple Andrew, Je suis un cycliste.

Hello nice French person.

Bon jewer, fromage eating surrendere monkeye.

Asking for directions:

I’m lost, can you tell me the way to Blackpool?

Je suis perdu, pouvez-vous m'indiquer le chemin à Blackpool?

Can you tell me the way to the hospital?


 Pouvez-vous m'indiquer le chemin à l'hôpital?

Can you tell me the way to the pie shop?

Pouvez-vous m'indiquer le chemin à la boutique à tarte?

Can you tell me the way to the pub?

Pouvez-vous m'indiquer le chemin de la pub?

I’m looking for the Eiffel Tower.

Je suis à la recherche de la Tour Eiffel.

Useful statements and questions:

My bike seat is stuck up my bottom!

Mon siège vélo est coincé mon fond!

No thank you, I don’t pay for sex.

Non merci, je ne paie pas pour le rumpie pumpie.

A few donkeys and it would look just like Blackpool.

Quelques ânes et il serait ressemblent Blackpool.

4 Big Macs, large fries and a diet coke please.

Quatre le Big Mac, grande portion de frites et un Coke diète s'il vous plaît.

Do you have any cream? My shorts are chafing.

Avez-vous une crème? Mes courts métrages sont les frottements.

Do my nipples look big in this top?

Ce que mes mamelons paraître grand dans ce top?

Can I bring my bike onto the bus?

Puis-je amener mon vélo dans le bus?

When I said spare tyre, I meant the one for the bike.

Lorsque je l'ai dit la roue de secours, je voulais dire celui de la vélo.

Oi Frenchie, come back with my bike!!!

Oi garlic baguette, revenir avec mon vélo!!!

No there are no asylum seekers under my shirt.

Non, il n'y a pas de demandeurs d'asile en vertu de ma chemise.

That beret is very stylish, and really looks well with the onions.

Ce béret est très élégant, et c'est vraiment bien avec les oignons.

Grab that yellow jersey and leg it!

Prenez le maillot jaune et s'enfuient !

Attractive under arm hair darling.

Attractive sous chérie cheveux bras.

Do you have a puncture repair kit?

Avez-vous un kit de réparation de crevaison?

How much wine can I drink legally and still ride my bike?

Quelle quantité de vin que je peux boire légalement et encore monter ma vélo?

Hey French pig, eat my dust!

Hey de porc française, manger mon poussière

If in doubt, the phrase “Aw ee, aw ee, aw” will get you through.

Training, training and infection

Well last Sunday was the first official training ride for our T2T (Paris to Blackpool) ride in June. With the clocks changing it wasn't a very nice 5am start for me and I really struggled to get my breakfast eaten, porridge was okay but the peanut butter on toast was impossible to swallow.

After an uneventful drive from Carnforth to near Ormskirk, via the delightful toilets in Charnock Richard services, I joined the other 15 cyclists.Things started off fine with my legs slowly coming round after being in the one position for so long in the car but then I made the mistake of waiting for one of the guys on the first little rise who seemed to be struggling a little bit. After waiting we had totally lost the rest of the group and not being sure which left turn was the key to the route we ended up doing 20 miles on our own before meeting up with the others. The rest of the ride went fairly well apart from a couple of punctures, three people falling over whilst stationary and poor communication when someone dropped off the back of the group.

During Sundays ride myself and Tony decided we'd start doing our Tuesday night training rides from work again so that's what we did. We set off just intending to have a chilled out ride but as always seems to be the case on that route the final 10 miles turned into a 10 mile TT with us only being three minutes slower than our best time from last year.

I've had a small lump on the back of my neck for a few years now which has been checked out by the doctor and is a sebaceous cyst. Over the past week the cyst has grown massively and it turns out it is now infected so I'n now on high strength antibiotics. Due to cyst being right on the back of my neck it is very uncomfortable  to sleep on my back and my whole neck has become stiff, my position on the bike also means the cyst is squashed so I'm going to be dosed up to my eyeballs to get through the pain barrier on Sundays T2T training ride.

No Pain No Gain

Well I'm a week into my training schedule and it's going well so far.

The diet which I thought would be the worst part isn't so bad - in fact at some meals I feel really stuffed. A typical day is as follows:

Breakfast:- bowl of porridge with ground cinnamon and chopped banana, two slices of wholemeal toast lightly buttered, glass of milk and my supplements.

Lunch:- feta, spinach and potato fritatta, apple and banana.

Dinner:- wholemeal pasta/whole rice, three portions of veg and steamed chicken/fish.

This week I've lost 5lb so far and 3% body fat.

Training this week has consisted of gym sessions on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday with rest days on Tuesday and Friday.

Saturday was a really hard interval session comprising of the following:-

4:00 minute warm up
1:30 tempo riding
2:00 high speed tempo riding
15 kilo efforts with 1:00 recovery between the efforts
4:00 warm down

It was complete and utter agony from the 6th kilo onwards and upon getting off the bike I really struggled not to vomit. After reading Sir Chris Hoy's autobiography I kind of expected this but asked his advice via twitter and got the following message from him.

@AndyCreer sadly it's just all part of the fun I'm afraid. Bad news is the better you get the more you are able to hurt yourself!

Saturday evening was the final trip down to the National Cycling Centre for the climax of the Revolution series featuring a certain Chris Hoy. If you've never been to one of these meetings before you get to see a real cross section of talent competing in a wide range of track disciplines.

This morning I've been out for a chilly base building ride but the legs are a bit sore after yesterdays efforts and from ignoring the 'why stand when you can sit' part of the cyclists mantra.

Riding a bike -The Great Escape.

The cleats on my shoe enter the pedals with a click, my fingers curl around the thick newly applied bar tape and my arse kisses the saddle. I'm man and machine as one as I roll down the road.

I check what I'm carrying - £10 note, spare tube, multi-tool, tyre levers, pump and CO2 inflator. The main decision is where do I ride today? How strong do I feel today? How long before the wife misses me? - then my mind has wandered.

The thoughts that usually occupy my mind are slowly stripped away. The distracting usual thoughts first - did I lock the door? Should I get fuel tonight or in the morning? What's for tea? I then progress to the more important thoughts - what is my Grandson doing? Should I change jobs? Should I buy another house?  - then suddenly my mind has switched off.

The pain comes now and again of course, but the pros do say suffering is optional, but brains own pain killers, endorphins, are more powerful than Prozac and suppress pain and induce a feeling of wellbeing. I think it was Diane Ackerman the American port who wrote "When I go cycling...the world is breaking someone else's heart."

I ride a bike for few reasons - to keep fit, to enjoy the countryside and to travel but mostly I ride to escape I ride for the silence, I ride to empty my brain, I ride for the void. Random thoughts do enter this void - lines from songs, lines of poetry, an old girlfriend - but mostly they are like snowflakes falling on water.

Sometimes I get home and I'm not even sure where I have been until I download the data from my Garmin.

On the bike my brain switches off and recharges - its the Great Escape.

New Year - New Start

Happy New Year.

Well I now know what kind of shape I'm in after being tested on a rig. The tests show that my functional threshold power and VO2 max are reasonable for my age and that I have a good peak power output but the major downside is that I am just too heavy (or fat if you don't want to be PC).

If I can shift 90lbs then I have the potential to be okay at time trials and sprinting but I need to make sure that I lose fat and not muscle. Currently I am 43% fat which is pretty piss poor by anyone's standard but with a strictly monitored nutritional plan and training plan we should be able to turn that around. The plan is to lose 45lbs this year and 45 lbs next year.

Training is roughly two to three months of long steady rides to get the body used to burning fat and then in March/April the speed work will start to bring up the speeds together with the distances.

Why the name change?

Well it's been a long 5 months since my last posting and a few things have changed and I don't just mean the title.

So why has the title changed? Basically as far as I am concerned LEJOG is in the past now and you have to live looking towards the future so the use of LEJOG in the title wasn't really apt. I was discussing what I'd call my autobiography and this came up as a possible title. The wrong gear not only refers to being in the wrong gear but also making the wrong choices in life.

I've also completed my first sportive which I enjoyed but I struggled on the hills with feeling really sick more of which in a bit.

After the sportive I came down with a bout of flu which I thought explained the sickness. Two weeks after the flu I had a second bout and a chest and sinus infection and then suspected glandular fever so I've been off the bike for two months.

Now I'm waiting to get Christmas out of the way and start with my 2012 goals which I'll post up about soon.